"Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close."
I have always been decisive about the quote of the day. After all, why would someone severely reject their own child? Could it be that they lay blame in him for all the heartache in the family? Was he the reason his parents were so unhappy? Had he done something so terribly wrong that his life was just one horrible mistake?
You can not allow your self-esteem and your sense of value be determined by how other people treat you. The Bible tells us that God accepts us even if everybody else in this world rejects us. God says, "Although my mother and my father have rejected me, the Lord will take me in and adopt me as His very own child." (Psalm 27:10) God will never reject you. He always accepts you. don't allow the rejection of other people to cause you to reject yourself.
You may feel that your dreams have been dashed by the choices you have made. Or, maybe the choices imposed on you by others is causing you grief. Maybe you feel trapped in a rut right now, but have hope! Remind yourself that you are made in the image of God. Don't let other people play games with your mind, deceiving you into thinking that your value is diminished. Hold your head high, knowing God is in control and has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your life may not be is exactly as you hoped right now, but the bible says that God's ways are better than our ways. So, begin by praying for guidance and follow the steps below.
- Find the root cause of the problem, then solve it. The best thing you need to do is approach your parent and respectfully clarify the issue. Most of the time it's not what you say, but how you say it that matters more. You have to have the courage, the right words and the self- control to not be too emotional. Tell your parent the following: I feel like you resent/reject me (cite some instances when you felt this way), I want to know if I am right about it.
- Accept that there may be little you can do about it. If your parent(s) have rejected you because of your profession, disapprove of your choice of spouse, or because of religious differences, it's unlikely that you're going to be able to change in order to gain their approval and/or acceptance again. In these cases, time is usually the best cure.
- Identify favoritism. Sometimes you feel rejected by a parent because that parent seems to favor a sibling. You are compared (usually unfavorably) to your brother or sister, and this hurts. The reality is that we all like some people better than others. While parents are supposed to love their children equally, some just can't be bothered to make an effort to understand a child that is difficult for them to read, or is so different from them personally that they find little in common.
- Talk out your feelings. It may have been repeated many times in other sources, but it does help. Talk it out. Talk to your parents and try to root out the problem. Or talk to a sibling or a close relative. If someone is willing to talk, there is always someone willing to listen.
- Find somewhere to stay. If you've been kicked out or you don't want to, or dare not stay at home, go to a relative's home or stay with friends if possible. It may not be permanent, but it will get you through for a time.
- Find a resolution of whatever kind is possible. Do try to sort it out with your parents. Send them a card, and/or flowers, or just go home and talk it through. Let them have their say and then have yours, but be calm, and don't be afraid to cry - crying can give you a great sense of release.
- Accept whatever relationship is possible with them. Once you are talking with them, if all your efforts to remedy this problem have failed, then accept whatever you can. It is pointless to berate yourself - it's not about you, it's about them.
- Release anger or sadness in a productive way. If you enjoy writing, write your feelings out on paper, but instead of writing in first person write in third, so you refer to yourself as s/he. This takes your mind off of the anger/pain. Get a gym membership and turn something negative into something positive.
- Adopt another family or friend as your own. Many individuals of unloving parents find themselves having one or two wonderful friends - a great comfort in itself. But when your friend learns that going home for holidays is painful, s/he may invite you to celebrate with his/her family.
- Have a good life. In spite of your parental units' rejection of you, you can have an excellent, productive, and rewarding life. You are awesome! Give it time.